…Why are you always coming down on me?
“Wow, you are right. This shouldn’t be a fight at all. I intend to come down on your drinking habit, but I don’t intend to attack you personally. Let me start over again and get us started on the right track.”
“This parenting stuff is so hard! You are scaring the heck out of me and it’s making me feel like I want to challenge you. I wish we could work together on this problem—would you be willing to work with me?”
“I feel that your alcohol use is so dangerous that I have to come down hard. I will let up as I see you gain some control over it yourself. Maybe we could figure out together what signs would show that you are handling this really serious problem.”